Hi Ho! I’m Hungry, but so is the Rest of the World

Well, Cheech and Chong are happy–as is Spicoli.

I mention these characters of the higher class for a reason. With the legalization of marijuana in Washington state and the impending legalization of it in Colorado, my mind wanders to the films of my youth–those college films filled with capers, over-sexualisation and alcohol; films where there is always some bildungsroman culminating in a wild chase scene. The saviour? Well, more often then not it some ample chested woman scantily clad who is capable of distracting those who need distracting long enough for the heroes to disappear into relative safety.

Think of films like Porky’s, or Porky’s 2; Revenge of the Nerds and the like; we are twenty years removed and we still find ourselves distracted by methods of instant gratification.

That is why this debate about whether or not the legalisation of marijuana is the right thing is our time’s pair of big distracting breasts.

It is as absurd as it sounds. Some of our greatest minds are distracted by this marijuana conversation, when brainpower should be spent tackling any number of the larger issues that are plaguing the world. Whether or not I can buy a joint at the corner market is not one of them.

People like to get high–just as they like to get drunk. Did prohibition stop people from drinking? Nope. Was there a correlation between the lack of alcohol and the Depression? Without any facts, I’ll say yes. Can we say the same for our current climate and the lack of marijuana? Yes, if we ignore fact and accuracy once more–truth is that simple to come by.

According to the pundits, the legalisation of marijuana will spin the masses into an unending spiral of degradation and depravity. But the question remains: do they truly believe that the great problem solvers of our time, the instructors and politicians haven’t the willpower to pass on the dutchie before heading off to work in the morning? Apparently the ability to say no to a beer or cocktail prior to work isn’t enough to forego a little purple haze after your bran flakes.

Look, we haven’t angels running our world, it’s evident; no one pretends that they are (unless you live in the bible belt and Mike Huckabee is your kind of dude), but we trust them enough with the keys to our uranium Pizza Hut’s, or whatever secret place they’ve drummed up to store it. We trust them enough because we find something strangely comforting in their shortcomings. It’s like hearing that God picks his nose and wipes it under his chairs. There is poetry in basic human foulness because us lesser souls are equally as foul–what they choose to do once they are through with day, well that doesn’t concern me as much as what they do during it, and it is this that leads me to my over arching question: why are we still wasting time talking about this?

The world is falling apart at the seams: Israel and Hamas (not to be confused with Jewish and Arab people, there is a difference) are equally terrible because they are dead set on destroying each other, and everything else around. Corruption is rampant as greed spreads like crabs from a pair of lost & found underpants. Poor people have less; the rich are growing richer–swimming in their hoards of cash like some disgusting live action Scrooge McDuck–treating taxation as though it were the responsibility of the poor alone. Major corporations are following suit as their funds are being sent through loopholes and distorting revenue, while resting in some small nation’s favourite bank, comfortably beside their executive’s personal fortunes–all receiving no tax.

In China, Egypt, Syria and the United States we find oppression, censorship and the wild mistreatment of women.

All of these issues that are causing death–both literally and figuratively–bloodshed and the inability to carry on with basic human rights: eat, sleep, breath, live and love, and we are busy wasting time discussing whether or not marijuana should be legalized.

Well, who cares? Let that debate exist when Democracy lives in Egypt; when the blood and tears left behind in Tahir Square aren’t left in vain; we can spark the Marijuana debate when Assad is punished for brutally killing his own people; when food and water is accessible in Africa and war torn Syria; when women around the world aren’t blamed for the violence some else has inflicted upon them.

We have all of the technology in the world to make our lives better, easier. Conveniences are the norm, but the world is falling into worse shape. Racism and discrimination is on the rise–Ah, but who cares, right? We have bigger fish to fry–some commie bastard hippies are token up in my country.

They may be high but that marijuana they’re smoking is taxed by the state, which is more than we can say for the income of the pundits fighting the legalisation of marijuana.

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In flux

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